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Thursday, 2 March 2017

Let's give it a try again and my 1st Youtube Video.

Bismillah..

What???! It's already 2nd of March??? I promised to myself that 2017, will be the year I'm going to start typing again on my blog but I guess, things just don't turn out that way. New year resolution failed on me, boooo! and here I am trying to start again from where I left it which erm, June 2016? lol! that was a year ago.

so, Assalamua'laykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh my dear readers.

Thank you for still taking your time to read my writing though I think this whole 1st post for 2017 will be a pointless writing. Just me typing whatever came to my mind.

Lets just recap of how the past 2 months of 2017 has been nothing but great to me. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. I chant to myself every morning that 2017 will be a great year for me. Despite the challenges and hiccups here and there, I guess to still be able to live under a roof, enough food to eat, and clothes to wear, I am pretty much bless with good things in life right? Tabarakaallah..

Initially, I plan to start youtube-ing again, so I posted a video in January and its lasted ermmmm only that 1 time I guess?! Well if you haven't watch my video, please do watch it below. Enjoy seeing me answering questions, and ranting over things.

Inshaallah I'm working on my 2nd video, just that I need to learn the editing skill because, Inalillah, my skill on editing is pure plain and very boring (anyone up to teach me on video editing, ermmm for FREE? lol 😂)

I guess that's all for now, not even doing any recap as I mentioned above, sorry! I have of laundry to make, and piles of clothes to be folded (wife duty calling) so I'll be back writing here tomorrow, inshaallah. Pray for me please to be istiqomah on this blogging journey.

For now, lets seat back, eat some popcorn or something, and watch my video, wassalam.

Love,
Ayesha


Saturday, 4 June 2016

Ramadhan Plan 2016

Assalamualaykum wbt.

This is my Ramadhan schedule. Sharing this because some of you were asking me about it. May this benefit all of you, bi'ithnillah.
I recommend for you to set 1 or 2 goals (if you have more, go for it) during this special month to keep on giving you the same momentum to go through Ramadhan. Think of something that you know you can really work on and achieve it. It can be very little and simple, for example:

- listen to islamic talk for 2 minutes everyday.
- memorize juz amma.
- give charity everyday even if its just RM1 or a smile the least.
- pray jamaah at the masjid at least for 1 prayer.

And the list goes on. Think of something that is achievable and you are sure you can do it! 
My goals this Ramadhan are:

1. To finish the Quran in the month. My whole 26 years of living, I have yet be able to finish the Quran in month of Ramadhan because of my poor and slow recitation. But Alhamdulillah after I joined Tajweed Made Easy Academy Global course, my recitation has improved so much, so this year I must try to achieve this goal!

2. To cut down on musics and TV series (struggling)

You can add more sunnah acts as only you know your own abilities and capabilities. Strive for more and push yourself to the best limit. May Allah grant us the energy, keep on inspiring us and make it at ease for all of us, ameen.
Alhamdulillah, inshaallah this year is my 3rd Ramadhan in deen and I look forward to do more quality acts and most importantly, I pray that my acts are istiqomah and I come out from this moth a a better and upgraded person.
I pray that this Ramadhan, we received so much forgiveness from Allah and be blessed for our effort to come closer to Him, may Allah choose us to be among those that He grant His hidayah, may He accept all our duaas and keep us steadfast in our deen. May Allah increase us in knowledge and imaan, ameen.

Ramadhan Kareem my friend, I humbly seek for your forgiveness for any wrong doings, sayings and sharing and may you find a place in your heart to forgive me and others whom have wronged you.

O'Allah, I expect Your promise, You ask me to ask from You, and I know You with your power will not failed me in my duaa.
Allahuma ameen.

P/S: click here to download!! RAMADHAN PLAN ♡



Saturday, 14 November 2015

Just some thoughts

Everybody is different, and we come from all different walks of life. We have our own battle and struggles that makes us the person we are today.

Never belittle other people for the choices they made in life. We are all entitled to our own opinion and choices.

Agree to disagree..

Okay that's all!

P.S: I'm working on a new post, will be up soon :)

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Diari Hijrah: Starting Point dan hijab

Bismillahirahmanirahim

Assalamualaykum wbt. 

Firstly, minta maaf sangat sebab dah lama tak update. Kesibukkan melanda diriku! Sebenarnya dari lepas nikah hari tu, dah lama sangat berehat-rehat, ni tengah slow-slow kayuh nak dapatkan momentum hidup yang dulu.

Post hari ni nak cerita sikit tentang macam mana saya mula berhijrah. "How do I start my Hijraa" gittew! Dulu dah pernah tulis dekat blog lama, tapi tak tahulah ada ke tak yang baca. So kali ni, saya tulis balik memandangkan ramai yang email dan tanya dekat ask.fm (boleh klik sini kalau nak tanya soalan sebagai anonymous)

Ok marilah kita mulakan ya... btw its gonna be a very lengthy post, mungkin kena tulis ikut bahagian,  sebab cerita saya berhijrah ni adalah benda yang penting dalam hidup saya dan proses tu tak pernah berhenti. Mudah-mudahan perkongsian ni sedikit sebanyak boleh beri inspirasi kepada pembaca blog saya!

Sedikit pengenalan, saya ni bukanlah dari "religious" family background. Practicing deen in life at that time pun pada tahap moderate sahaja. Dulu saya pun tak berhijab, solat lopong sana sini, baca Al Quran pun tak pandai, bergaul bebas tak tahu siapa mahram, mana halal dan haram. Bukan salah mak ayah, tapi sikap saya sendiri pada masa tu, suka pada gaya hidup 'moden' dan kononnya 'in-trend'. Orang kata, liberal gitu. I'm not proud of it at all. I'm not proud of my past, what I've done and how I reacted when I wasn't wise.

Masa tak pakai hijab lagi and being so rebellious, memang selalu terdetik dalam hati, selalu rasa macam, "hurmmm aku buat ni salah, berdosa, sampai bila nak macam ni?". Tapi takat tu jerlah, nak berubahnya tak ada. One day, I feel like changing myself to be better, but the next day, I'm back to the old jahil me. One time I felt depressed, but later on, I felt like its okay to be what I am at that time, I than convinced myself with phrases like,

"takpelah nanti dah tua sikit boleh berubah"

"kawan aku pun ramai macam aku, nanti kalau kena seksa, mesti kena seksa sama-sama"

"ramai je orang macam aku, yang lagi jahat lagi ramai, aku ni kira OK lah juga, tak jahat sangat" (YES I AM THAT DENIAL)

Bila ingat balik, memang malu sangat. WHAT AM I SAYING TO MY OLDSELF NIE?! but one thing, walau apa pun saya cakap kat diri sendiri masa tu, hati selalu rasa kosong. Alhamdulillah, dalam hidup saya, nak apa-apa semua dapat, pendek kata, orang senang lah. Tapi walaupun dah ada macam-macam selalu juga rasa stress, tak happy, lonely dan hati ni rasa sangat-sangat kosong. Rasa perlu di isi dengan sesuatu tapi tak tahu apa. Macam tulah rasa nya, sebab dalam diri tak ada imaan, tak ada Allah.

Hurmmm, saya mulakan perjalanan hijrah saya dengan pakai hijab, yes hijab! Sebelum tu memang dah fikir banyak kali nak berubah, nak start solat, pakai hijab, baca Al Quran semua. Tapi tak tahu nak start dengan yang mana dulu. Kadang-kadang tu rasa macam tak ada semangat nak start berubah, sebab selalu termakan dengan hasutan syaitan. Saya takut nanti orang akan label saya. Takut nanti apa orang kata kalau saya dah berubah. Selain tu, saya rasa malu dekat Allah, ya lah selama hidup ni selalu ingkar suruhan Dia. Banyak dilemma masa tu nak berubah to be a better muslim, tapi dalam kusut fikir tu, saya nekad, "I'm gonna start wearing hijab!"

Ceritanya, saya mula pakai hijab pada tarikh 22/6/2009 masa tu hari isnin kalau tak silap. Okay mesti korang nak tahu kan macam mana saya boleh tergerak hati nak pakai hijabkan? *perasan sendiri*. Okay pada tarikh 20/6 dan 21/6, dua hari sebelum kejadian saya pakai hijab, ibu saya hantar pergi ESQ training. Ada tak yang pernah pergi tak ESQ training tu? Kalau ada, nah salam semut untuk awak *salam semut*. Memang seronok sangat training tu, banyak belajar pasal Al Quran, dan saya punya tahap amazed time tu 10000 kali ganda! So masa hari akhir training tu, pada slot yang akhir sekali, anak-anak kena pergi salam mak ayah taw, just salam and cakap lah apa-apa kat parents kita. So masa tu ibu je ada, saya pun pergi kat dia, peluk, lepas tu diam seribu bahasa, tapi air mata dah jurai-jurai menangis.

Masa tu rasa dekatnya hati ibu dengan saya, degupan jantungnya pun terasa dekat sangat, terasa macam setiap kasih sayang dan aura dia tu lalu dalam diri saya dan lepas beberapa saat dalam dakapan ibu, saya terus minta maaf dan berjanji akan mula pakai hijab. Dulu sepanjang saya tak pakai hijab, ibu baba macam biasa yang paling banyak sekali membebel suruh pakai hijab, dan saya pula ketika itu, anak yang suka menjawab dan bagi alasan (astagafiruallah hal a'zim, semoga Allah mengampunkan dosa kita semua) selalu buat 'dek tak dek' kata orang tu, masuk telinga kiri, keluar telinga kanan.

Okay sambung cerita tadi, so emak mana lah yang tak happy kan kalau anak cakap nak berubah, nak pakai hijab? Sepanjang perjalanan balik ibu tak putus-putus ucap syukur, happynya dia masa tu, hanya Allah yang tahu. dan sepanjang perjalanan tu juga, saya lebih banyak berdiam (which is so not me, sebab saya adalah seorang yang suka bercerita doplohpatjam gitteww). Dalam diam tu, saya banyak berfikir. Biasalah kan baru cakap kat ibu nak pakai hijab lepas tu syaitan tu jahat dok hasut-hasut, so banyak lah benda saya tanya diri saya. Contohnya macam..

"ishh aku ke yang cakap nak pakai tudung tadi? buang tebiat ke ape?"

"nanti pakai tudung apa plak kawan-kawan cakap?"

"tak hipokrit ke? yerlah aku bukan baik sangat lepas tu nak pakai tudung plak"

"hurmmmm ni ke yang aku nak?"

Siapa pernah tanya soalan macam ni juga masa nak hijrah or dalam keadaan rasa nak berhijrah? Jahatkan syaitan tu, hasut orang bila dah nak berubah kepada kebaikan?. Tapi saya terus diamkan diri dan istighfar banyak-banyak. So balik tu, terus solat dan tidur macam biasa. Tapi start hari esoknya dan seminggu lepas tu, saya tak keluar rumah langsung. Sebab antara takut nak mula pakai hijab dan malu nak keluar rumah pakai hijab. Malu orang mula bertanya tentang imej baru saya. Saya juga tak nafikan sekali-sekala ada rasa macam menyesal sebab saya cakap kat ibu tentang nak pakai hijab tu, (teruk kan perangai?). Dalam masa saya "kurung" diri tu, saya ambil kesempatan tu untuk muhasabah diri saya dan saya terjumpa ayat ni, 

Firman Allah :
Sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum melainkan mereka sendiri yang mengubahnya.” (Ar-Ra’ad: 11) 

saya terus cuba untuk kaitkan dengan diri saya dan lepas tu saya cakap kat diri sendiri,

"kalau aku aku tak ubah sekarang, bila lagi? sampai bila aku nak macam ni, inshaallah ini lah yang aku nak".

dan alhamdulillah hijrah saya memakai hijab berkekalan sampai hari ini.

tapi....

Setiap nikmat Allah bagi tu, mesti datang dengan ujian. Jadi nikmat hidayah pakai hijab tu, Allah bagi saya ujian yang mendatang lepas itu, macam-macam ujian saya terima. Bukan niat nak aibkan diri sendiri, tapi ambil lah penulisan saya ini sebagai pengajaran. Saya hanya pakai hijab namun hijab sekadar menutup rambut. Hijab saya tidak mengikut garis panduan yang ditetapkan dalam Al-Quran dan saya tidak meletakkan 'hijab' pada perkara dan perbuatan lain dalam kehidupan seharian saya.

Saya berhijab tapi masih menjadi hamba fesyen. Contohnya saya pakai hijab tapi pakai baju lengan 3/4. Saya pakai hijab tapi saya pakai jeggings dan skinny jeans. Pakai hijab tapi saya tidak 'hijab' kan mulut saya dari berkata yang tak elok. Saya ber'hijab' tapi tak jaga ikhtilat dengan yang bukan mahram dan banyaklah perkara lain yang saya buat.. WHICH IS TOTALLY NOT RIGHT!

But how do i realise this and overcome all these matter? Saya sambung next entry okay?

Nak share sikit lah kan dekat kawan-kawan, hidayah tu datang dalam pelbagai bentuk, kalau ada dalam kalangan pembaca kat sini yang belum pakai hijab tapi ada rasa or feeling-feeling nak pakai hijab, anggaplah itu satu hidayah dari Allah. buang sikap sombong kita dan terima hidayah Allah lillahitaala. Inshaallah urusan lain-lain nanti Allah akan permudahkan. Kalau dah lama sangat rasa nak berubah, tapi rasa susah sangat, mulakan dengan cukupkan solat 5 waktu dan pakai hijab. Saya doakan yang terbaik untuk semua. Semoga kita istiqomah dan mendapat bimbingan Allah SWT. I know how hard the struggle is, but lets jihad to be better.

See you next entry! Good Night

Tuesday, 7 July 2015

Raise your duaa

I am a firm believer of duaa. I love duaa. I love everything about duaa. It's powerful, it's the best tool a believer should hold truth. If you ever attended any of sharing sessions or my talks, you'll noticed how I keep on emphasizing about duaa and how can duaa change your life at all degree.

When I first started my hijraa many years back, I remember the duaa I made that brought me to tears badly. I was asking Allah to guide me because I was felt so hopeless and helpless at that time. I still remember the exact words I said while making duaa to Allah. After placing my duaa at that time, I felt relieved, protected and heard. It was one amazing feeling that I can hardly put into words.


Alhamdulillah, now we are entering the last 10 nights of Ramadhan, it is the perfect time to make extra lengthy duaa with full of hopes. Make duaa that Allah choose us to wake up for tahajjud in the last third of the night, before having suhoor. That is the perfect time to unleash all of you duaas to Allah SWT. Allah in His Glory descends to the lower heavens to listen to those who call upon Him. Mashaallah, amazing right?!



Quote by Imam Shafie rahimulallah

I would like to share with you some key points about duaa that I learned from my teachers and classes online. All these lessons has given me a whole new perspective about duaa. I no longer make duaa just for the sake of making duaa. I see duaa as an opportunity to talk to Allah, tell Him stories and the One I hang on to all my hopes, dreams and desires. Duaa shouldn't be the spare wheel that you pull when you need it, duaa itself is the steering wheel of life, that will direct you to the right destination.


So here it goes:


1. Make duaa to Allah at any time in any condition. There is no restriction in making duaa to Allah, we ask and He provides.

2. Make a list of your duaa, internalise your duaa and compose it. This is to help you asking for the same thing until your duaa is accepted. Make sure you pick few names of Allah and put it into your duaas. 


3. Milestone your duaas visually. Visualize it, if possible print pictures, make slide shows of what your duaa is about.


4. Make duaa that will benefit you both in dhunia and akhirah.


5. Make your duaa habit. Here are some list of time you can start your daily duaa habit



  • in sajdah
  • at end of salaah
  • at adhan
  • between adhan and iqamah
  • immediately after wudhu'
  • duaa throughout day of fasting
  • at time of iftar
  • in the middle of the night
  • third portion of the night
  • when waking up at night
  • Friday afternoon duaa days
  • while traveling
  • whilst drinking zam zam

6. Ask Allah plentiful of things, be specific of what you want. Don't make it general. Allah is Al Karem, He gives to whoever He wants.


7. Avoid sinning.


8. Always be positive and stop complaining.


9. Always be thankful to Allah for duaa response, either it is good or bad, just be thankful.


10. Make best duaa for others as well.



"And your Lord says: Call upon me (ask me) and I will answer you"
Surah Ghafir, ayaah 60

I love this verse so much! Its very powerful, positive  inspiring and hopeful indeed. I remember seating in Sh.Yawar's class during LEC and he talked about this. He said, "this is the promise of Allah in the Quran, and Allah never failed to fulfil His promises. So ask, don't doubt in Allah". Allahuakbar! Beautiful right?

Don't be shameful to ask because you think you've sinned so much and you don't deserve to ask Allah for anything. Pray, make tawbah and ask Allah to guide you. Allah loves those who cry to Him, beg Him and ask from Him.


I hope this entry helps, and give you some idea and also inspire you to keep on making duaa. May we all reach the night of laylatul qadr, ameen.


I pray that all your duaas are granted and hopefully we come out from this month of Ramadhan as a better person. Allahuma ameen.



That's my duaa list (printed in A4 paper)
Very lengthy because I have so much to ask from Allah


:)